i bet jesus would rush if he went to usc
whats a more ladylike way to say "fuck me on your lunch break"?
You kept shouting "Relax and take notes" every time before you would hit the blunt
Well someone has to be the Christmas slut at the family dinner. I suppose it's my year to fill those shoes.
i had to get the starbucks manager to open the bathroom door for me...you passed out on the floor, the things i do for you
raced the clock twice to day to see if i could get off before my computer died and before i left for my noon bar crawl... win, win
lets go back to having secrets in our friendship
don't pay it forward
I eont pay shit forward. told a stranger to call an abulance and peaced
No one suspects that a sweet girl who is excited about her anniversary with her bf just blew her partner at work in a communal area a few hours ago, so its cool.
hotboxing with the ex-bf's two most recent hookups. they just realized they're eskimo sisters with his best friend. this is what happens when I come home for Christmas.
I got laxative. And a toothbrush. Because who wants to buy just laxative on a Friday night?
Is it bad that I coached my cousins 6 year old boy to steal a 30 rack of keystone out of an unattended cooler at our family reunion, or was I just giving him a social head start in high school? I err on the side of awesome.
Ok, they now been on the roof for two days. I can see 4 cases of teecate and a carton of smokes. They are yelling at "fucking fall" and pissing off the roof.
I told my dad that he was in a band and he was all like " good job" and then he looked up the band and listened to their music and just went " oh have you disappointed me"
She asked what a chaser is. I died a little inside, please come back..
I think I need practice at oral sex
I own a practice facility.
Randomize
