I felt like helen keller
But she could have totally found that shit before me
I'm so hungover And my mouth is so dry it feels like my tongue is wearing a sweater
got high and went straight for the Doritos. I'm some kind of walking cliche.
Jessi just used the excuse "it's not you it's me" to get out of getting a lap dance.
i just saw the eighteen different ways i could die and only after that did i realize i'd made a poor decision
I WILL STOP HOOKING UP WITH GUYS EX'S FOR REVENGE. I WILL STOP HOOKING UP WITH GUYS EX'S FOR REVENGE. I WILL STOP HOOKING UP WITH GUYS EX'S FOR REVENGE.
I've come to realize sober is a rare time of the day.
P.S. The slutty NASCAR driver costume will be saved and used year round for role play.
Im drinking ciroc out of an ice cream cone... my night is going fantastic
Seeing the pictures of him and i, I'm giving whiskey the win on this one. Definitely had beer goggles.
When you and Blake get an apartment I want you to buy this Costco couch I'm currently passing out on.
That's how you know it was a good night if two months later you finally realized your skirt never made it home and you found out where it was.
You ripped my pants off and gave me the choice use it or lose it what was I suppose to do.
Thinking about licking your asshole. And hugs and stuff too I guess.
And our sex soundtracks thus far have been metal and Star Wars
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