listen. just hotwire a car, take off the license plate, make up a new one on a sheet of paper and go the speed limit. i do it like, at least 3x a week.
Midgets have it so easy. They have so much less leg area to shave.
at the topless march for equality..and wow.not all these boobs should be treated equally
He was completely serious when he said my boobs were like "majestic white clouds."
We should reintroduce naked Mondays
I have yet found the courage to put pants on. No judgement thursday led to no shower friday and now no pants saturday. God i miss college.
Exactly. So you're exempt under the "I can't just fuck her to make it go away" clause of 2010.
I'm currently braless eating the balls of the penis cake and drinking warm champagne. I'm 3 cats away from crazy at this point
If you do that, i will make all sorts of uncomfortable comments about my nipples being soft
Last time Jon threw a party I woke up on my porch, no shirt but 4 bras on, and "make better life choices" written on my stomach in sharpie
If they could bottle a hangover it would taste exactly like lemon lime Gatorade and failed hopes and dreams
I need to get all the one night tinders in my system before I move back in with my parents
A respectable fucking: good but like I don't want to get kicked out of my hotel room
what a classic moment of my life. A buffet of taco bell and a taser gun.
I need your help immediately! I sorta kinda sliced my foot off at the ankle with my new kitana. Bring your cooler, ice and some hospital road beers.
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