I need a sticker that says "It's no use hitting on me - I'm the plus one" Seriously, how do they think I got in in the 1st place?
She was that classic mixture between "Hell no" and "Why the fuck not."
thanks for showing me a good time......and your penis a few times. Thanks especially for that.
If there was a god I would have a big mac right now, but i don't
i don't really know how much tequila is too much
I'm pretty sure I have a cold now from having sex on the hood of my car in the rain. Worth it? Absolutely.
Where is a good place to buy a New Year's outfit that acknowledges I don't have tits but screams I suck dick like a champ?
Bitch looked at my dick and said "I thought they called you horsecock, I'm already disappointed"
I told you that line would get her home never said it was a good idea
If I don't survive tonitght I would like to thank you for the ricekrispy treats. I am majestic
I told him you're making deviled eggs for the party. Sisters make deviled eggs to get their sisters laid. It's science.
So his dick was definitely bigger than it looked in all the pictures he sent my daughter.
Update: I spent 10 minutes trying to fish out a rogue vagina weight.
How ironic... opening your legs for closure.
Get the fuck in, we're going to Taco Bell.
Saddle up bitches, we're going to an orgy.
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