it sucked. he totally couldn't get it up. blamed it on never having cheated b4. Couldn't stop laughing. fuck.
Well we ran into the cornfields when the cops got there. We'd been hiding in there for 45 mins when he asks me "So this wasn't exactly how I'd planned this but I thought I'd ask. How do you feel about oral sex?"
Only you can can turn Jenga into a drinking and then a sex game.
he fucked my hip out of place.
Dude she was 62...with a boob job. And I'm proud to say I made out with that.
I'm sorry. But when a stripper driving a Bentley tells me I have potential..... I gotta at least listen to her proposal. God did not mean for me to waste these tits on law school.
I had to photo shop your nipple piercings. that was extremely awkward.
we went 3 years between hookups and she got a lot better. Amanda's moving way up the booty call pecking order.
Logically he should not be walking around...after that fall he should be in a hospital in a medically induced coma
If I come back tomorrow to find a certain football player tied up and locked in your closet, shit's gonna get real.
I'll set him free tomorrow morning ;)
I think that all guys are assholes, some of them just have less assholeish qualities that we accept in our lives and that we can look past enough to deal. They have to be a pretty special asshole.
I need to immerse myself in a tub of peroxide to kill whatever traces of him are on me.
he went down on me while I ate Oreos. I don't know what caused the orgasm.
I caught myself caressing my own hand while nurturing a glass of bourbon. I think it's time to get back out there.
Jus pulled over and stole. Corn out of a. Field. ... get on my level
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