I'm going to jail i love you
i was rollin on her like bob the builder
she said she missed her period, but is going to six flags... think im safe?
Red Bull/Vodka? You bet I'm showing everyone my penis tonight.
so how do you plan on seducing my econ TA?
by telling him that he has a large supply and that i demand it...in my mouth. it shows him that i'm slutty and that i pay attention in econ
i'm not accepting baked goods from anyone for awhile. especially after the stalker pie.
We are not in the same countries and I heard about your hook up last night BEFORE you.
and then you seriously asked him to senior prom..which freaked him out since you told him earlier you were 22
So glad I decided to show up and puke in your trashcan.
These are the moments that bond souls forever.
Just Everbombed a Guiness to make up for cutting out early last night. Also the Mars probe. Happy birthday motherfucker!
I'm sitting in my room naked waiting for him. When he gets here im going to make him do 20 pushups and lick my clit for a hour
yesterday you declined a drink because you "didn't want to be responsible for it" ok kanye...
I'm in my bed. Snow angles in fresh sheets. don't even try to get me out tonight.
I don't know if I should feel proud or ashamed of myself...ashamed for making myself a drink at 6:15am or proud for actually being awake that early.
I hummed the theme from jaws while she was taking the pregnancy test....needless to say she was not pleased
Randomize
