I'm really into asian looking animals
They say you shouldnt they say its no good for the environment in your vagina
I love how you send me nude pics of girls you're fucking and name them by which city they're in instead of their name. "This is Nashville, this is Tupelo, this is Jackson..."
I feel uncomfortable when she gargles my jizz.
I finally had sex with him last night, but we used a condom so it doesn't add to my number of sexual partners.
By getting ready I mean putting baby powder in my hair and possibly changing my pajamas to another pair of pajamas
i remember introducing him to all my posters and making him be extra nice to frank sinatra and bob dylan before he fucked me
He dropped me off at 4 in the morning because I made fun of Pearl Jam..
I guess I tried to show you how big my closet was and we ended up eating pickles in my bathroom
I just got peed on. This karma circle is starting to get vicious.
After we drank 3, we built a raft out of the empties and installed the fourth submerged In the water to keep it cool. Keg boats are now a thing
Okay we're getting vodka and coming
Okay. Joe has my machete attached to his belt
Her family was right next to mine during christmas eve mass. Between the terrifying glares and her trying to set my sleeve on fire during the candle part I am VERY sure she knows im fucking her ex...
I want a dick in my left hand and a Crunch Wrap Supreme in my right hand.
I hate when he takes the condom off to cum all over me. It defeats the purpose.
It’s like having a barf bag and choosing to puke in your own lap.
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