Well how sick are u. Ive got a good immune system.
she went to pee and i could hear her singing "Drip Drip Drop LIttle April Showers" from Bambi through the door.
I wish we never smoked. I'm literally laying in bed opening and closing my eyes, just hoping a hot dog stand will appear in the room.
Life lesson. Learning to pee left handed is easier than learning brickbreaker left handed. Rather lose a few drops than a few lives
Also...you were trying to touch his balls without him noticing
So puking trix and chicken wings is horrible but atleast we got free drinks for taking the trash out at the bar we are really movin up in the world
This theraflu would make for a great margarita.
I can make a sudafedarita
No, i will not have sex with him again. It felt like he was trying to bulldoze his way through me. My vagina is on strike.
I actually feel a twinge of sadness recycling all of our handles... I feel like I'm throwing out some great memories or lack of them because we don't remember
It's 5AM and I just stirred weed butter into ramen noodles. This is not where I expected to be at 30. ...But, hey, getting high off noodles.
Is this a Beer, Vodka or Whiskey kind of problem solving night? It's imperative I stock accordingly.
Questions like that are why I love you.
Hey. I hope you have enough room in your car for me and a Honda civic front bumper.
I must be pretty memorable. I was walking past this dude and he goes "There's the Scotch Girl." I have ZERO clue who he is, but I'm definitely the Scotch Girl.
She played the piano. I played the piano. She got on top of the piano. I got on top of her.
Nothing says I'm doing some sketchy shit like coming out of your bedroom with your underwear inside out
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