you dont need to remember merediths name haha. only jane
Is it a problem that I find my wife's 16 year old niece sexy?
I dont care about anyone or anything else I just want to make love to you on my air mattress
Is everything ok? Last time I missed your call you were being arrested.
Not much, just your average college male Sunday cleaning period blood out of the carpet.
Tell me you're kidding.
Besides scarred, I'm not much of anything right now.
and after i failed the breathalyzer i said to the cop "i've never been very good at tests"....
I wonder what acid is like for a blind person... Can we find this out?
This tiny cat is tiny breathing with her tiny lungs and im having a tiny freak out. Like those lungs have to be super tiny.
Tommarow we shall sacrifice the freshmen to the sun god
I got hammered with my chem professor at 4:30. I'm pretty sure that can't be topped by any real sort of institution.
Also topless tea is a thing that happens in our apartment. Ready yourself.
And then I remembered we banged to Beethoven & I was like you will never get this ass again
I never imagine I'd say this, but can I ask Jeff for the butt plugs back even though it was a gift and we broke up?
I have to lie to someone and move five gallons of fermenting alcohol across campus but after that i'll hit you up 4 sho
because he's a firefighter, wouldn't sleeping with him be like saying thank you to the community?
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