I basing my decision on whether or not to date someone on whether I could imagine having sex with them sober
our health teacher's ringtone is Bad Romance and she has a tramp stamp. i will not skip this class, ever.
and then he proceeded to take what he called, a whip cream shower.
Being the adderall dealer on campus, I feel responsible for everyone graduating.
Showerbowl immediately followed by pullups naked. I feel like fucking Tarzan
At least I cut out the pieces of your hair where I braided gum into it last night. Thank me later.
They wouldn't serve more then two Shots per person, so you grabbed a group of strangers and said u werre buying them all shots, then proceeded to drink all of them.
It's fucking New Year's. I can be soberish in 2013 after tonight. It's like the 30 years of grey area between Jesus' birth and death.
I'm surprised, it's been so long you must be starving
At a certain point, the zombie-like hunger goes away. Then the sadness sets in. Then you start lying to yourself that you're taking some "me time." Then you remember you dodged chlamydia and Buddha knows what else. Then you're at peace with it.
We really shouldn't need this many nicknames for the women you've had sex with.
The only thing left on my Bucket List is getting fingered at an aquarium.
Well then she has to know whoever you were kissing was in overalls because that's not a detail you just leave out.
Are u alive? If u are, you deserve an award.
he just fucked me for my cheese.
I just smoked part of an Oreo cuz I thought it was some hash you left
Randomize