i just pooped in tubberware. not a proud day
With such a small dick you'd think he'd try to make up for it with some sort of personality.
I hit a bug from across the room with my flip flop boomerang style. That awesome.
Just want you to know I am def drunk enough to burn down your house. Don't worry I checked the stove like 6 times. I love grilled cheese
I honestly didn't see the problem playing beer pong In the car on the road trip home.
maybe you should do the old hyperventilate, take a shot of vodka, sniff someone's hair trick
I told him we couldn't hang out because I had strep, he said he's had it once so he couldn't get it again. The sex isn't worth this level of stupidity
It's a delicate game of how much porn can I look at without the other interns noticing.
You kept saying you only wanted to drink until you were sleepy. You succeeded if "sleepy" means you sleepied around with 4/6 of the guys there.
Just turned down sex because it's a holy day of obligation, my mom would be proud.
tanning, a slurpee, and a cigarette. spa day college edition
Do drug dealers work on Memorial Day?
so, i guess i gotta chill on showing up to work hungover... someone anonymously left a bible in my work mailbox (no one else got one)
CRAIGSLIST IS NOT THE ANSWER
IM LONELY AND HORNY
my mom asked me why i was covered in scratches, blood, and dirt this morning..i answered "i was planking obviously" and walked away
Randomize
