I have the worst farts today, I'm walking by the cubicles of people I don't like and leaving them surprises. Brb.
new call of duty comes out in november. guess im not passing my finals
I forgot how hot balto sounded
My vagina makes bad decisions like its her job
You need to come back and get me. This is not a jersey shore party and he is not dressed as Pauly D and I am about one shot away from hooking up with a real fist pumping Guido.
Correct me if I'm wrong here... but did we serenade each others breasts to "winds of change" last night?
I thought stuff was gonna go really bad after he filled the super-soaker with kerosene. but it all turned out pretty well.
He tried to spell out "PROM?" in his cum on my stomach during sex. It was terrible
well did you say yes?
That commercial was clearly aspirational. I think Arbor Mist would pair nicely with Oscar Meyer
The guy next to me just said he wont play beer pong on principle. Im scared.
Well, you've continued the theme of living with people who's dicks I've sucked.
It's 7:30pm and we've already lost someone and had to run from the cops. What the fuck did you put in the punch?
I dont know who to turn my two weeks notice into so I'm just going to get hammered at work and see who fires me.
guess who smoked weed with their grandpa tonight. and no it wasn't me.
I just landed at Logan and some guy threw up in the baggage carousel. Boston never really changes
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