I have to tell you about my conversation with the cloud dragon!
there's a booger on my laptop, i suspect it's yours
adderall just fell out of my nose in class. guy next to me just nodded.
sarcasm needs its own font
he came within less than a minute of me blowing him. this was our second night hanging out in a row. for an almost 30 year old italian man, he is NOT living up to his country's reputation
i was holding a cup in her face for her to throw up in while screaming THIS IS THE DEFINITION OF FRIENDSHIP
im so proud of her that she got shit faced finally. This must be what it feels like to see you kids get their diploma or some shit.
Grandpa got a dui while riding a horse. This is what I need to live up to.
Just finished two pages in like 20-30 mins bitches SHWAMP DRUNK LIBRARY SHWAMP
But I mean, have you ever just LOOKED at how majestic penises are? They are like ivory columns of pure wonder!
I kinda took a step back after our "surprise bottles night"
He dared you to draw a map of the USA on your wall in mustard. You drew something that vaguely resembled a velociraptor eating Oklahoma, got embarrassed because you forgot how to spell America, then hid out in the coat closet until everybody left.
I just tried to pass the bowl to my dog for 2 minutes before I remembered she isn't human. It is 7:27 am.
Dude. why do I feel like I am cheating on you every time I do shrooms?
I'm a freaking penguin. one mate for life, and really awkward at parties
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