my night went downhill once I lost my bikershorts. EAWSSSSYY ACCESS
He said "what's the haps". I don't know what the haps are but there goes his chances
My vag wants to play a game of hungry hungry hippos with your cock.
No, I didn't like him that much. But I took one for the team. And by the team I mean me and my vagina.
remember our old mantra: why can't life be as easy as we are?
This old guy just saw me toking on my bubbler before I go to the dentist. He gave me the nod.
Nope. Daytime is texting time. Night time is you send me naked pictures time.
Dude, I'm pretty sure I slept with my TA's girlfriend
On celebration of the Supreme Court ruling I feel it is our patriotic duty to have a threesome
If he can't cook well I'm just gonna buy a RealDoll and twenty cats and live my own fucking life
like when you break up with someone your virginity slowly starts to grow back & when it's done it's like ding ding ding you're ready to date again
she walked up to me at the bar, kissed me, andthen declared "I HAVEN'T SEEN YOU OR YOUR PENIS SINCE 2011."
He fucked me while wearing a unicorn horn. I think I have found the one...
I assure you, it was not a Porn Hub Bee Movie parody.
He loves blowjobs.. were meant for each other.
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