I have no idea who these bands are he's listening to. If his current playlist was a pandora station, however, it would be titled "music for closet cock gobblers"
I got to watch him fuck me from behind in the reflection of an ornament. so glad I decorated.
I'm to the point in my high that every song eventually turns into Lady Gaga
can you imagine how much money lesbians save on birth control?!?
bitches.
my ass has officially been on the floor of every fraternity on this campus
and who said we didn't have goals?
The extent of my physical activity is running from the cops.
Walking down the street at 11 pm dressed in bubble wrap. Why is the bar so fucking far away??
How did you make it to work sans hangover?
4 words: Clif Bar soaked in tequila. Just like albert pujols
We're using joints as your birthday candles
My very favorite thing in the whole world is when guys try to booty call her as I'm fucking her. Sucks to suck.
I just baby talked my cat. While getting ready for bed... Before 10 on a Friday. I'm officially a cat lady.
Come over. But instead of sex, will you rub anti itch cream all over my face?
So much Jack, so little girl.
I only know one person in my class and that's my dealer.
That's why my boobs are so big, they're full of secrets.
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