so i completely puked my brains out. a lot. he held me up so i could brush my teeth. then we proceeded to hook up for the next four hours.
he's a keeper
tequila makes my crab dance SOOOO much better
my ex just saw me in his brothers bed. fuck yes revenge feels good
I just called my cat a slut and she responded. Proudest moment ever.
honestly I asked the same thing when we had our slip n slide and margarita party
im trying to stop thinking of him and his amazing dick. every time i do i snap myself with a rubber band. classical conditioning at its finest...and you said i wouldnt learn anything from psychology.
Cuz its complicated and I hate complicated and I miss your penis
first party of the semester tomorrow. thinking of wearing a huge sign that says "my summer was good" to avoid the 67 questions and get straight to drinking
I woke up with a half eaten bag of lettuce in my hand, wearing my Halloween costume from last year. Damn you tequila.
Jacked up my neck and shoulder hanging on for dear life while I rode him like a boss. Plus my house smells like broccoli, bad! How's YOUR morning?
Every time you mention the threesome around him I will high five you. Do what you will with this information.
Yeah you'd pretty much be ruined if you broke up with a guy like that and then had to return to the dating pool
Every time Brady gets sacked I cum a little...
Puked in the trash can. Took a bite of someone's breadstick and kept dancing and drinking
Just deepthroated a hot dog. Thinking of you
Randomize
