is not sure whether or not everyone at the club last night calling me a-easy is a good thing?
i have a "get your shit together" dinner with my parents tonight. After that ill be down to party
My wife googled 'purchase vibrator.' Not sure if I should be excited or offended.
so this was truly a case of the blacked out leading the blacked out.
She's the only person who can pull off turning an outdoor patio heater tower into a stripper pole.
Fourth time I had to be woken up in the line of Whataburger in two weeks. First time my shirt was free of vomit.
Im just saying it can't be that bad if he drove himself to the er. We'll head that way when we finish playing scattergories
I've already reverted to sweat pants. And lonely drinking.
I'm gonna eat you out with that hat on so it looks like beaker's doing it. And I'm gonna go "memememememe"
So what your saying is I can use her desperation to my advantage. Fuck, this must be how pretty girls feel.
My doctor wrote down abstinence as my form of birth control. #ihavenodatinglife
The bar tender had his entire hand down your asscrack.
I forgot about that. I was in MULTIPLE dimensions.
my ex logged me out of his netflix so im gonna fuck his bestfriend as revenge
woke up this morning to a baggy full of adderall and two redbulls..i'm gonna marry this guy one day
All I heard was "sit on my face" "okay" and muffled screaming. I'm still disappointed.
Randomize
