plz talk dirty to me
Be sure to let me know if your relationship crumbles so I can resume hitting on you
Shiiiit I think I'm getting sick. probably had something to do with the fact that i shared my mouth with everyone last night.
Wait. That came out far sluttier than I intended.
That's why Kanye is a gay fish.
when did we get so old that our friends started having LEGITIMATE children?
He said he had a gf but the monogamy was "only implied".
Haha so I huess that means he's a little over 7. I can use my throat as a ruler!!
One less school supply you need to buy!!
its not thanksgiving till you and grandpa shotgun beers out in the shed, and lose
What is the appropriate way to inform him that I am TOTALLY down for break up sex?
I NEED YOU TO TELL ME ITS OKAY TO BE THIS HIGH
Yes
O.K.
ders ninda duuude pooring goden shots ov glory. I see em an i dont but there hear.
are you attempting voice recognition while drunk again?
It will be like a scavenger hunt.. only we're looking for places to have sex.
TYLER OWES ME SO MUCH
I LET A CREEPY MAN I DONT KNOW SUCK ON MY NIPPLES
I just asked my mom if I could be the drunk realitive at the reunion. She said as long as I'm not obvious.
Soo I'm in the trunk of a car drunk about to jump on trampolines. My life rocks!
Randomize
