with your own penis?
This ginger kid smells like a queef popsicle
My hand turned me down
What happened last night?
You soiled yourself again and told everybody that you'd given birth.
he was dropping me off and i told him i had to go to the bathroom and i leaned into kiss him and he asked how i went to the bathroom with a tampon up there... he was amazed that their was a third hole...and wanted me to show him where it was
Wine + wine + wine + wine + bud light = puke.
The sign in front of ihop says "designated drivers get half off their order"
We sold so many girl scout cookies when we were little. What went wrong?
I wanna get "leaving my dick in charge" drunk.
I almost got on a bus to Langley Air Force Base. 99% sure that's not where I wanna be.
There are some things you can ever unsee. And walking in on your dad jerking off is one of those things.
Woke up to the frozen soundtrack blasting in the living room best one night stand ever
Alright if I email the police department asking for my mug shot do you think they will email it to me
This bird just went for my eyes. Does he think I'm dead???
Well the streak is over, I saw a penis today
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