we sat in the hammock and pretended we were skydiving for three hours. jack actually started crying when i convinced him his chute didnt open.
so let's talk penis.
What do ugly girls do when they get too drunk at parties. They can't pull the whole "sorry i passed out on your couch but i'm hot so it doesn't matter "card
I just followed a trail of feathers and glitter to class. Today better be fucking magical.
He's sitting on the floor holding his bracket and crying, literally crying... he just keeps saying "Kansas how could you?" over and over
her moans were so awkward that i kept asking "what" when she'd say my name...
I went to look at my notes for my take home final and all I had written was 'you're on E. You won't remember a damn thing anyway.'
His dick looks just like him, taller than average, thick, and somehow always angry.
want me to make you a grilled cheese? I can't guarantee it'll be as good as yours but i'll go down on you afterwards if you want
brb printing out this text and putting it on my bedroom wall
i was sitting in the back of a squad car completely stoned watching airplanes take off
I would go a lot of places to get laid. But I would NOT go to Staten Island.
You just missed an honest to god bukkake
We haven't had hot water in our dorm all weekend. Do you know if there is any other way to wash off shame?
can I CTRL ALT DELETE this universe
It's done, I'm done, goodbye veneer of class and dignity it was nice knowing you
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