sometimes when you bring the thunder you get lost in the storm
I want your puppy
I meant pussy
I would rather you take my puppy
Im in Brooklyn, he wasnt 23 or a musician pick me up
What's the appropriate I've been inside you but we're not technically dating valentines present?
He was going down on me and raised up for a minute, slipped and punched me in the face. My lady boner left immediately.
I had her number in my wallet, I was sitting on a winning ticket for the blowjob lottery and didn't know
So apparently the only parts of last night I remember didn't actually happen.. When did vodka become a hallucinogen?
Almost bit the guy's hand who sits in front of me because he was stretching. That. Bored.
Dude this weed smells so good they should make it into a Vicks vapor rub scent and I would rub it all over myself.
WHY IS IT FROWNED UPON THE DRESS UP IN CAT COSTUMES AND SIT OUTSIDE OF BARS WITH A BOX OF WINE I THOUGHT THIS WAS AMERICA
I have the starring role in a literal shit show.
Haha ohman remember when I peed in your blender? Gotta love college.
YOU DID WHAT???
Well if your hearts not big enough, your penis certainly is. Just have a threesome
We didn't get home until 4 am. Her mom let us in, confessed that she had sex with someone she worked with and said he had a small penis. I love this family.
My nipples are raw, I've yet to go to bed, I feel like death, and I'm at work. Thank you jack, crown, and Lafayette!
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