Will you still be my friend if I read and enjoyed Twilight?
No
he looked upset that i wasn't completely shaven. i reminded him he had begged. and beggars can't be choosers.
so im kinda of nervous about the whole bust inside event last night
yeah, and then after the convo was clearly over, my dad decides to scream "SIZE MATTERS" just to make things even more uncomfortable.
I just can't bring boyfriends home.
It was like riding a jackhammer on a train during an earthquake. THAT amazing.
all i wanted was to be slutty. now i'm meeting him for drinks tomorrow because he woke up before i had a chance to sneak out and was too polite to say no
You sent me snap chats of you guys having sex. Like plural. It was like flip book porn, I'm traumatized.
Yeah! I was just fired because there was an over hire and the new girl is hotter than me. Seeing as how the new girl is my baby sister I think punching my manager is excusable.
Don't be too mad at the guy who broke your kitchen table. Didn't get his name, but he knew all about your gay porn career. Like DETAILS...
I woke up last night a kitchen floor with my shirt off and I love America written on my leg in eye liner
Better not shit yourself at the gym.
Did you poop on the roof?
WTH?
Is that a no?
well tomorrow I get to eat fungus and go to an abandoned city.
most people would fear that statement, but i wish to join you
I just googled "how to blow an uncircumcised guy" and did serious research. That's how badly I want to fuck him.
You misuse your internet privileges.
She then told me, and I quote "I want to send you nudes just to see how you'd react."
Randomize
