i cant even explain all the reasons why i dont want to fuck you right now.
you ate skittles off the table like a hungry hungry hippo. it was awesome.
I just woke up with the words DO IT on my hand and six beers in my purse.
I don't think its a good idea if I moon a whole bar again
he woke me up at 3 am to ask me where my plunger, a towel, and staples were. i'm afraid to go into my bathroom.
she trying to cartwheel up the stairs... not going so well
I think it got a little awkward for her when my dad walked in on us and did nothing except leave half of his pizza on the table for us.
It was a perpetual wrestle for who got to be on bottom. Laziest hookup ever.
I feel horrible. I brought her to your house like a late night pizza delivery and dropped her off.
No one wanted to hang out so vodka and I are hanging out
IDK MAYBE BC I WOKE UP IN AN AIRPORT WITH A ONE WAY TICKET TO LONDON
Sexting is killing my work productivity but it's okay because I'm self-employed
I am all the way hung over and want nothing more in this world than a McMuffin. Happy day after Thanksgiving.
I have beer and butt plugs...pretty sure I will find a way to entertain myself while I wait
Sustenance and doggy style.. the only two things I need
Randomize
