Did you see the soccer ref give that girl the red card as she was being kicked out of the party?
Yep just saw a license plate that read "taint 2" which implies there is a "taint 1". Only in Florida
the bottle said: caution extremely flammable. so that was my motivation.
When I look at old family photos I know how jessica simpson feels when she watches dukes of hazzard
For the record it's 1026 and you told me I could leave you in the bathroom.
It's 6 am and I've spent the last few hours searching for a cork screw or suitable substitute. You had none. Incidentally, I finally opened this bottle of wine, but owe you a new meat sticky thing with those two prongs. Sobriety is not good for me. Or your utensils.
That's okay, during storytime I would have to sit on my hands so I wouldn't touch everyone. Explains a lot...
how the fuck is Katelyn 5'1" and 85 lbs and she tackled a bouncer to the ground?
The first aid guy just told us to go get hammered...I'm taking his advice
I can coach you back to consumption. Think of it kinda like Rocky II.
I figure hes like disneyworld. You know youre only going once or twice in life. Might as well have fun and ride the rides
You emptied out your taco and asked the lady for a refill...and then you continued to carry out a full conversation SCREAMING
Apparently it is impossible to get kicked out of taco bell....I'll try harder next time
Please collect your boy friend. He semi-passed out on the couch and trying to grab bums as people walk by. Anyone's bum, he's not choosy.
Her one night stand followed us to mass. This is too funny for real life.
I'll pretend I don't know she's blind, my morals claimed the back seat in this adventure.
Randomize
