I need to go to a fraternity... my boobs are telling me to.
I was just about to go down on her when she gave herself a "smell check" and said "no, not today".
note to self... there IS such a thing as having too many birthday shots...
they night at the roxbarryed us. came out of nowhere,bought us shots, and then the big one licked my hand? we got out of that noise.
I maybe late, he's in a peeing contest with the neighbor's dog. Currently he's in the lead.
The doctor told me if I woke up with a broken foot and don't know how it happened, I might want to look into getting treatment.
So puking trix and chicken wings is horrible but atleast we got free drinks for taking the trash out at the bar we are really movin up in the world
I'm sorry for not being sorry about whatever shit I did to you when you were annoying and I was drunk. That is all.
True enough. Do you ever think that these girls grandparents ghosts are watching you masterbate to their granddaughters and look at you in Shame?
You really could become the cat lady we've always dreamed of.
I'm currently giving my drug dealer relationship advice. He's a nice guy and all but I'm really just hoping I get some free weed
Between having seen you naked and interpreting your values based on the occasional political FB post, you're no stranger for sure.
The ONLY reason I am doing laundry is because all my sweatpants are dirty.
I'm sending you a dick pic. Ill tell the other ppl in this pancheros its cool
Don't send a pic of dick unless it's inside the burrito
You were supposed to catch herpes, not feelings!!!
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