He has that thing where they hang SUPER low
Ewww!! Elephantitis
I woke up this morning in your mom's car... any ideas?
I think my hot accountant is wearing banana republic. I miss the days when that ='ed gay. Signals are so confusing now.
I feel like I'm back in highscool trying to hide my erections at work
Dude has a bag of wine attached to his belt. These guys don't fuck around.
Best. Four. Twenty. Ever.
If Bret Micheals dies..will VH1 have to go off the air?
Maybe I need a light up heart over my vagina like Christina aguilera to get the point across
so the plumber came, he found condoms, feathers and glitter in the pipes.
what is the protocol for being hungover enough to vomit in a potted plant during my botany lecture?
Whatever. I hate you. My vagina hates you. I hope a bird shits on your head today.
I should be rewarded with oreos for not turning into a raging cunt.
He brought me flowers and then spanked me with a Doctor Who paddle. Pretty good night, as these things go.
Awwwwwww!
No i dont need a babysitter i have my cats. Cats can dial 911 ya know
He just ate a tooth whitening strip...
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