im typing and i feel like my hands are on backwards.
Stop texting me, I'm right here.
It was like a Michael Bay sized explosion located in my pussy.
so when am I gonna get some from you?
when you dick grows 3 inches
He' s half Black and half Italian, I finally asked...this penis maybe one for the records.
So the answer to your question is yes, I was masturbating on the roof of my building.
He had a shameless baby voice when he was talking to my dog. There's no way I'm making it through the night with my clothes on.
Brilliant thought; pill pong.
What could go wrong?
Yeah. Just jump him. Naked. Claim his dick for yourself.
I just read through our messages from yesterday and realized we both referred to me tearing my penis as a good thing. What the fuck.
bringing my vibrator into the shower with me. if I don't text back in 30 minutes I have electrocuted myself and died.
May the force be with you.
Still stoned. I like your bong. It can stay. No others, though.
I need you to go into my room and get some pants then bring them and four band aids to Sam's apartment no questions
He was standing in the living room wearing a Donald Trump wig and looking very disappointed
How did you interpret 'wheat thins' from 'vaginal trauma'?
You were licking skittles to check if they were "halucinateizers" so no, you are not leaving the house while on antibiotics.
Randomize
