In the future we'll all be gay
I wanted to google "huge banana" but I'm pretty sure all I'd get is dick pictures.
when a 14 year old is judging you, you know you've had too much to drink
yeah, and then after the convo was clearly over, my dad decides to scream "SIZE MATTERS" just to make things even more uncomfortable.
I just can't bring boyfriends home.
I'm doing shots of crown out of a baby bottle. My friends are sensational parents.
I'm making tacos. Give me one good reason why we shouldn't be high while eating those tacos.
We broke two of his toes while having sex. He laughed said he'd fix it in the morning and kept going. I think I'm in love
The entire time I'm blowing him she's in the back seat lecturing me on the reasons why you're not suppose to do that while they're driving...
I kinda feel like I was hit by a Prius. Just glad it's not bus status.
Now he's crying and asking for 'the cameras' to come out. The one cop is laughing
Is there like a dick file on me? Guys can't hold two dicks anymore?! Who are you people????
how come you came home with "Amanda owns this" written on your forhead
I've got to stop being so hungover that I puke in the fine establishments of this glorious town.
Kinda hard to look your partner in the face the day after a rousing game of How Many Ways Can I Capture Your Penis.
HE BEAT A GUY WITH NOTHING BUT RAZZLE DAZZLE AND HIS FABULOUSNESS
Randomize
