glad my latex allergy prevents me from being a one-night stand whore
I don't even know why I got my vag waxed
Ugh, tell me about it. As each day passes and the hair grows more, I get a little more depressed.
WHY AM I ALWAYS DEFEATED BY THE LATIN COCK?!?!
Don't you dare blame me for walking in one walking in on ur fuck session....u decided to fuck where we hid our booze
I will refer to it as the penis of glory... he fucked me for 3 and a half hours - and all he needed was a 5 minute power nap in the middle (which he took WHILE INSIDE ME). I plan on staying with him forever
This may have to wait till tomorrow. I smoked so my back wouldn't hurt and I overshot relaxed by like 4 hits casually
Know what the best part of waking up for work after a drinking vacation is? It's an easy question. Nothing. Nothing is the best part of that.
Banana suit guy has an entourage and they're all douchebags. There is no god.
His constant posting of "inspirational" Taylor Swift quotes over the past 3 days has me a little worried. It's like, holy shit dude, you're almost 30.
We had sex in the church bell tower and somehow it still feels right.
MY GOD DAMN TV STOPS WORKING EVERY TIME I AM THIS FUCKING HIGH. WHY MUST IT TORMENT ME?!
They had like literally all the dildos. It looked like a seance for dick. I left the apartment and haven't been back.
immediately after sex he started talking to me about nerdy stuff he meant to text me earlier, I'm completely smitten
The Lion King Is on YouTube
Until 2 minutes ago I actually had a chance to pass my midterms... thanks alot
I just puked on the sidewalk. At 11am. Thought you'd like to know.
Just found out I lit my hair on fire last night.
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