# days @ Coachella: 1 people i showed how to break it down: 279
Yeah I'm pretty much like lane on gilmore girls except my mom doesn't look so mean all the time.
I just put lube in Matt's bellybutton. He looks unhappy.
Just saw the first guy I gave head to lose in the french open...some how I feel better that my mistake made it to the same mistake as our relationship, the third round. Don't judge.
Because you know it would be fucking amazing to get trashed and shatter the dreams of 12 year old girls. I might get a shirt.
So he was supposed to be helping me with my math but instead we ended up drinking coconut rum in his basement and having sex. I think my mom was right, getting a tutor will be good for me. Relieves the stress.
I would fuck him In a heartbeat, an obese child running up stairs with an irregular heartbeat, heartbeat.
So my roommate just came out of the shower with a dude...guess that answers all questions as to whether or not he's gay
idk how I feel so profoundly understood by someone whose latest tweet is "labia majora's mask." but I do.
Don't shower too much, need the shame to be fresh to get the best story
Some days, I wish I could get a hug from a furry muppet
Are you alive? Cause this is my official "im actually alive" text.
And don't worry, I have a great track record of rallying after a casual midday blackout.
Got arrested last night. My cell mate just added me on Facebook.
Hey do you remember me?
You were the giant banana I had sex with... how could i forget?
Randomize
