I may be a little high but I'm pretty sure my alphabet soup has only Os in it
We call that spaghetti Os
guess who just trotted in eating her oats and wagging her penis
filled out health questionnaire for lower premiums a little bit too honestly. Literally got assigned a life coach.
Do you need a place to sleep? Cause I fucked in the guestroom a few weeks ago and never washed the sheets. But if you don't care neither do I.
Hmmm just stalked him and according to his facebook he wants "whatever he can get." obviously he'd be open to the idea.
He calls it "his noble steed" and i plan to ride it.
I'm so glad I was blacked out while I was going all exorcist in the bathroom. That's so not a memory I want.
Serious question: does drunken cyber sex with a stranger on omegle count as cheating???
I mean, if you want to light yourself on fire for maximum accuracy, far be it from me to stop you
And he put my hair in my clip while i blew him...and he did a good job
I remember yelling at him telling him that the strippers were "nice people."
It's probably not a good thing when it isn't even 6:30 and I've already drank an entire bottle of wine. By myself. I'm watching Spice World and I just bought 2 Spice Girls albums off itunes.
Make that 3 Spice Girls albums.
Taking out my recycling and 90% of it is alcohol and cat food. I am judging myself.
I have peed in a lot of sinks
I think the hamburger goblin stole my cigarettes. I left my purse behind her table and they're not in it now.
Randomize
