so he reminded me it was our 9 month anniversary and then said "we could've had a baby by now"
if we dont hook up this weekend, im doing both his roommates
I told her the maid must have stolen all my condoms. She bought it
Wow thanks 4 throwing jello at me an yelling who invited that guy to all the guys at the bar
Because if the best sex I've ever had was with a gay guy, then God help me.
He legit asked if he could come over for a hug. I feel like I've been booty called by a 12 year old.
I've just stalked all the hot guys who have clicked "attending". I now know which guys are "yes", "maybe" and "no". I only hope my drunk self remembers.
Challenge: Try to have your balls hanging out in every picture you take tonight
Challenge Accepted
I sexy timed too hard and there is an ass shaped piece of a ping pong table now missing bc of it. How am I allowed to leave the house without a helmet?
I ran into a hotel and told the doorman he was doing a great job. That was before you cried on my jacket.
i just deleted him from my phone. and yes... I did just text you this from less than 20 feet away.
I'm not judging.. I sure as hell am not getting out of my bed to come talk to you about this. but i support your decision
how goes living off caffiene and alcohol?
i may have recently shit my pants. on two separate occasions.
He looked so uninterested when the stripper was slapping him. Now his roommates are harassing me about how crazy our sex must be.
Worst sex ever! He was a talker for sure! I was on top and out of no where he said "Oh you bad bitch?" I stopped and left.
He was eating me out on a samsung washing machine and as soon as I came, I heard the "end of cycle" song. That tune will now always remind me of the screaming, multiple orgasms I recieved tonight!
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