in my opinion joe jonas is kinda pointless. hes just the pretty boy front runner.
Yeah, that's not really a good thing. Especially for a girl. You should get a tattoo on your stomach that says "Please wear a condom".
im trying to make cookies in the george foreman
Last night I ate parmesan cheese straight out of the container while watching Chelsea Lately. Look at what happens to me when you leave.
This is so stupid. Now I have to call the party planner and tell her that the break up party is off. They decided to get back together.
Just walked in on the Yellow Ranger getting porked by a guy in a UD Blue Hen costume. Will somebody PLEASE think of the children.
Make good choices ;) This is your automated cockblock message
She gave him a lap dance on the glass table. You can guess how that ended
Either I need to stop bringing you back to my apt or I need to stop buying ikea furniture
dude, i woke up with a mini keg on my night stand. again. like wtf
The background of my phone is you taped to the wall wearing a cowboy hat
we are all four or five tequila-induced decisions away from shitting in a bucket, come get me please.
We now know how the night ended in arrest according to the flip camera I did 10 handle pulls and beer bonged a 40. My life choices are getting worse and worse this is your fault.
Do not ever get that redhead chem major high. Gave her a magic brownie and she sat in a corner and literally cried about organic chem. Never again.
No one knows how to work that "I pulled a muscle in my leg" drunk swagger like you can
Randomize
