You know that bakery that Sandra Bullock's sister owns?
The one in Montpelier?
yeah, well it doesn't exist anymore. VT's one fucking claim to fame closed.
If I were a hot girl. I'd whore around, I'd be awesome.
what age do we have to be before we can stop fucking guys on the first date?
we should wear snuggies to the strip club
it looked like a condom graveyard when i woke up. they were everywhere
i knew she was desperate at the point in which she started showing me her naked pics on her phone
You know why I moved here? No public intoxication law. A cop just helped me from my bent over vomit pose, asked if I was ok, and gave me a ride home.
She kept chasing him yelling thief, because he drank some of her drink. That was at 8, it got worse.
I think we've reached the point in the summer were we need to go back to school. I was so bored yesterday I nearly bought blow dart gun.
how do you casually eat pancakes with someone after they send you an unsolicited dick pic?
you don't. it's the point of no return for pancake enjoyment.
I'm sorry I threw a frog in your car last night.
Haha. I found pics last week of me getting motorboated by a girl while i was taking a shot. Hahaha in my wedding dress. Classy
You came in, yelled 'i am from the future' then puked all over the floor
I'm laying in bed cuddling with my teddy bear and eating waffles. I need a fucking boyfriend
So it turns out high me is very efficient. I set 5 alarms to remind me to do things, i made mac and cheese, and i wrote a poem. I'm going places.
Randomize
