We have to give a final comment in english, i think i might say "i learned it's a bad idea to make out with people in your classes who have girlfriends."
Does anyone know who that girl who fell backwards and broke the shoe rack with her head was?
she's using motion activated glade air fresheners as some sort of early warning system
Hahah what did you even say to him?!
That I was gonna inflate his vagina with a leaf blower?
Oh.
Its okay that he doesn't remember you, he only remembers girls by their boobs and I think you were wearing a jacket
Im invoking the "no judgements" clause of our friendship.
My god, what have you done?
This is your morning-after text courtesy of your very confused friend!! :) To discuss "what the hell were you trying to tell me last night," press 1. To laugh over your drunken antics, press 2. To pretend like none of it even happened (or to respond with concurrent confusion because you have no idea), press 3.
I'm drinking and making muffins and I believe this is why God put us on earth.
I have been drunk every time I've gone to mexico. I do not remember mexico.
He finally delivered on the dick pic, and Jesus Christ, it was worth the wait.
It's ok, I did squats with my bottle of wine before I opened it. That counts as the gym since I won't be getting there haha
You threw up a gallon of vomit. I really have never seen anything like it in my decade of partying.
His life is a porno. He snapped me while banging a girl in the back of the ambulance.
He doesn't have an existential crisis after we have really violent sex now which is nice
I woke up this morning fully clothed with a dart in my pocket
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