I wanna put my baby in that!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!
Ew you even made it your fb status
Ppl probably think ur having a kid
I hope
Love having children with random chicks
dude...i just woke up in ****'s bed!
doesn't he have a girlfriend???
yeah...who do you think woke us up...
I always see him when I'm wearing my ripped pants. I think its because of the hole in the crotch. My vag sends out supersonic "I'm horny" waves to him. Otherwise the calls are muffled.
My dry heaving is complicating my ability to speak.
Ugh. This is the type of hangover that all other hangovers want to grow up to be.
No way. Every time you have sex with him you'll end up staring into those eagle eyes and stop mid-orgasm.
I've started a list of places i want to drink. To go along with the list of places i want to have sex. Lincoln's log cabin is on both.
I like you as a friend, but I'm in love with your dick.
Jusy read on a science page that squeezing boobs can prevent cancer cells from forming in them, youre welcome.
hey now, it was 6 bucks for 5 shots. you would have lost your panties too.
WHAT THE FUCK KIND OF NINTENDO FILLED GLORIOUS ENCHANTING FANTASY LAND ARE YOU IN?! DUDE DID YOU MOVE TO THE 90S?!?!?!
What's goes good with Everclear?
Pepto-Bismol and a sandwich.
He showed me a picture of his family on Instagram and his dad was my Sugar Daddy. ABORT.
Getting a lap dance from a girl you went to high school with really isn't as awkward as you'd think
And she called me out by name, nothing could have made it more awkward but it ended up not being that bad
You cuddled up under the blanket because you said it smelled like Santa and vodka.
Randomize
