omg omg i just fucked paul. i need to stop doing this kind of thing.
wait, who's paul?
exactly.
Mind blown. Apparently, it's PRErogative, not PERogative. I blame Bobby Brown.
it was like she wanted to be a once a week night stand
don't worry. When rigor sets in, we'll make sure to get you laid one last time.
Came home and the girl was sitting on the steps "talking" on her ipod touch AND was halfway done eating a raw cucumber.
I've been at work for less than an hour and have pooped twice already. That's what happens when you start sleeping with your roommate and don't want to use the bathroom at home anymore.
Could be my worst decision since the whole 'third degree burn' fiasco.
Finally put clothes on I've been laying naked in the bed for approximately 4 hours since I showered and by showered I mean when I laid down in the bathtub with the shower on
There is nothing more demoralizing than exchanging 150 dollar Christmas gifts with a girl your not sleeping with
She pulled a wad of lint out of my bellybutton while she was blowing me. Said she's never seen anything like it. I've never gone soft so fast.
lost her for two hours. she was banging a russian guy in her car in the parking lot. he told her she was majestic.
Well the term Party is used loosely in this situation. Since it will just be mom wine drunk and us eating chips with multiple dips.
Right when he asked me if I was on birth control my dad walked in. This is my fate.
Like he was trying to be sexy but he had shit taste in porn so i left
She asked what a chaser is. I died a little inside, please come back..
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