you know whats weird about having a girlfriend....I look forward to masturbating now....sort of like quality me time.
found POGS while I was cleaning my room this morning. Definitely bringing them back to school to turn into a drinking game.
Found my smoke alarm in a ziploc in my toilet...again
I am currently sitting on a candy bar to warm it up cause it was in the fridge so I can eat it while watching the last song and smoking weed by myself
He said something pertaining to Ragu and vodka I'm worried
Why have they been driving around the block for the past 30 min?
He told her it was international road head day.
Wearing the flip cup varsity team sweatshirt was the best descision of my life.
And after getting thrown out of the frat house, getting carried up the hill for a half an hour, puking 5 times, and almost getting stopped by campus security, she still insisted he sleep with her. Gotta give her credit, even blacked she kept her eyes on the prize
I'm stealing this baby.
Well I always support illegal activity but where would you put it?
The ultimate Father's Day bonding experience: Both getting bailed out of jail by mom for mooning some shithead cop.
It's like someone is grabbing my scrodum with pliers and just hanging there.
Just text the random number in my iphone notes that was entered at 1am. Should be interesting.
Okay, the good news, found Jared, all IDs accounted for, Jack is meeting us at yours with your requested the delivery. The bad news: Lost Alice, banned from Stages, possibly fucked my TA in the bathroom.
I am mentally ready for anal.
Soooooooo high. David tried to rinse the water droplets out of the sink for 5 minutes
Randomize