I woke up this morning with 2 australian chicks passed out in my living room, a whole bunch of coke on my kitchen counter and I have no idea how the fuck either thing got there
Swear. I think after passing out in a community college parking lot I can safely nominate myself for the piece of shit of the year award
Dude... Hand job in the lake... It was as weird as it sounds.
i may have reached my "but im high so it's cool" quota for the month.
did i paint my nails blue or do i need to make a trip to the ER?
Too lazy to make dinner. Had chocolate and scotch instead. Check in with me in a half hour.
after we were done she whispered to my dick "you sir, are a genius"
I guess all those years with her as your babysitter finally paid off.
We shouldn't eat pizza in the pool
We r drinking tequila out a glass bottle and smoking weed underwater, pizzas the least of our concern
Nutrition teacher wants anything i eat or drink documented for the week including dancefestopia. Do you know the recommended daily ammount of psylicybin or MDMA?
ok so i took my anxiety medication and i'm eating junior mints and i think my vagina will be ok
Is is gay if I donloaded Grinder to see if my roommate is gay?
Whats a polite way to say 'if you havent put on a freshman 15 i would like to see you during break'?
Do I masturbate or eat a pound of matazah. Alissa help what do I do??
i am not an asshole. i paid for her to take a cab home.
dude, we were in ann arbor. she's from cincinnati. ten bucks didn't even get her back on I-94. i maintain my position. you are indeed an asshole.
This girls ass literally just fell out of her jeans in front on me on the escalator. Going commando on a Monday morning is a bold move.
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