i just identified you from a description of your pipe
we found you under the sink... we opened up the doors and you told us to go away because you were playing indian in the cupboard
The two guys from next door helped him do a backflip. The ended up throwing him halfway through a ceiling tile. Don't worry, we fixed it with duct tape.
I've started making all these amazing things...like bananas rolled in doritos..bandritos.
When are you not under some influence?
Since last Tuesday...yesterday.
true... I just kept thinking "THAT IS A PENIS. OMG THAT IS A PENIS. DOES HE KNOW IM STARRING? STOP LOOKING. OMG THIS IS AWKWARD. PENISSSSS"
why can't I meet attractive men at the places I like to hang out? like books a million. or the liquor store.
The problem with having sex on the couch is that your blanket ends up in the laundry and you're left cold on the couch the next day.
That was awkward , having sex with her while her husband watched via Skype. I'm a porn star or a target. Idk
I wonder what dick looks like without astigmatism?
Don't judge me. It's a Monday night and I can eat burritos in while bathing in the kitchen sink if I want to.
I'm sorry about the spring break comment. I won't make anymore pornos, I promise.
Wow I really just sharted up in this Kroger
I know we're not on great terms here, but I need to know if you're still available for sexual activity...cause if not I need to get going on a work-out plan.
It feels like heartburn in my lungs. I'll buy 2 pounds.
Randomize
