So I got a little fucked up on the punch, and made out with the family friend. Which is apparently morally reprehensible. I don't get that.
You compared your dick to a twizzler. In no way, shape, or form is that a turn on.
Thats the last thing I remember and then I woke up in this Dutch kids dorm and he was taking a picture of me while I was sleeping
Be honest with Daniel. He was a good rebound to you for nine months and he made it so you could be with the one you really love and care for now. Just tell him thanks and best of luck.
I was the one passing out cake at the bars
No, I don't not want an upside down piggyback ride. You're drunk and there are rocks.
ok perfect im about to bedazzle our mini keg named hans. he is ready to rage
I'm currently day drinking, studying and making corn. Don't tell me what I can't do.
Oh and yeah that does count as public urination.
Mmm. Champagne. Weed. 17 pounds of animal crackers.
Just got a blow job from a woman on a ski slope. She said ski'ing frightens her and giving head calms her down. Glad I could help ma'am!
Yea he was still drunk. He wore a Toga to his job interview.
Also, apparently I'm only coherent when I'm drunk sexting. And then I'm grammatically perfect and impressively eloquent.
Wow you are like a taller more attractive sex Yoda.
Nothing kills the mood like opening another guy’s dick pic in bed
Randomize
