super hot butfun
Oops. What a difference a comma and a space make.
You should have seen her outfit yesterday. It was like pretty woman before Richard Gere gave her money to buy a new outfit.
just threw all of the fireworks into the bonfire. thats why there are firetrucks.
Apparently we had sex last night, and then I made him drive me to the beach so I could puke in the ocean.
I'm drunk and you're awesome. let's stay this way forever.
I really want to text him and congratulate him on having a bigger penis than the guy I dumped him for, but I thought that might be awkward...
So. How about you can get tequila certified...
Wake your ass up this is a day of horror where we get horroibly drunk and sleep with tandom dudes who wish they were super heros ps i havr stuffed animals over my privates im a petting zoo this year
Tequila pump. I'm ecstatic your engineering degree has real world application.
Am I over stepping my bounds if I ask to fuck in your new bathroom?
It has heated floors
I woke up today in my boxers hugging a log and realized that I think I've gotten close enough to nature. I really need to stop doing shrooms with you
I'm drunk and I have your birth certificate
I could drive to your house and kick you in the nuts right now....and not even stop for a burrito
I feel like asking for a towel for after I puke before I puke to be more respectful than jus going outside to puke and coming back inside covered in sweat and tears.
What has my life come to that I have to spank someone in morse code?
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