I'm gonna cuddle the shit out of you tomorrow
we didnt fuck last night. again. seriously, his place is like where dreams go to die.
She fucked me because she said I looked like Neil Patrick Harris
So does it count as really great road-head if he ran over 3 mailboxes before realizing he was off the road?
Either he was jacking off or having a seizure next to me in bed. Either way, I was too lazy to help.
Can I get a "hallelujah" for railing my pastors daughter last night?
Only the gays. Guy gives me a handjob in the steam, then changes next to me under his towel
Only the gays
Unless you're gonna start buying my underwear, you have got to stop ripping it off of me.
I may quit my job to go be a costumed Jedi at Disneyland.
Can finally say I won't be lonely this Valentine's day! Mother nature decided to drop by.
Bring me pizza. I'll trade you your underwear you left here for 2 slices.
Your penis is the destroyer of worlds.
Tonight was a total waste of a shaved vagina
Ya i'm marrying the man who can hear/smell this level of flatulence and stick around
What do you think would be the best way to remove a baby carrot from a vagina?
Randomize
