just do him I won't tell jon
um i'm guessing you meant to send this to tina, thanks for the support in our relationship you whore
I need a sticker that says "It's no use hitting on me - I'm the plus one" Seriously, how do they think I got in in the 1st place?
He corrected me on my grammar when I came. Fuck English majors.
It was one of those "since we're naked anyway" type situations
Not a single person will look me in the eye. Last night must've been bad.
Well regardless of which drugs we choose to do tonight until four in the morning, we are having a wii bowling championship. So choose carefully.
im breathing rainbows and everyone is talking in bubbles whatever you gave me give me more
You're the only person I know who would be upset about making out with a girl you like. You're like a drunken Charlie Brown.
the bride at the wedding we just crashed said we can stay only if we strip for her. You need to get down here
Another memory: We offered for a stranger to live in our house under the condition that he took the garbage out because it's a 'blue' job.
We are the best.
Ps. We need to take the garbage out.
It was an "I snuck in through the window at 5am with my underwear in my pocket" kind of night.
Hypothetically speaking, at what point does fire become too much fire?
Are those your contacts stuck to the mirror?!
Yeah. Drunk me tried to put my contacts on the mirror where my eyes were.
because he's a firefighter, wouldn't sleeping with him be like saying thank you to the community?
Dad is wasting no time getting back out there. Just walked in on him and a Twin Peaks waitress in the hot tub
Randomize
