You lit the bowl with a rolled up paper towel that you ignited on the stove.
Dude you have to stop using "I eat good pussy" as a pick up line
I just remembered how awesome your handjobs were in 7th grade, you were a true champ, thank you
i think he was starting go for a boob grab when we both realized the middle of a public tennis court wasn't the place
Nothing like buying a handle and a 36 pack with a baby strapped on.
He ate me out on the balcony. My asian neighbors cats are judging me...ALL 3 OF THEM!!
Hey, this is a mass text. I have a hospital bill from November, and I don't know from what. Did anyone bring me to the hospital on a drunken night that I don't remember...?
It's his sex noise. "I'm gonna cu-THE LORD IS MY SHEPARD AND I SHALL NOT WANT"
I just picked up a hitchhiker so karma will be on our side this weekend. Hahahahahaha
No.
its just been over 12 hours, and i`m dying, don`t know how i`m supposed to survive the holidays sexless
I can't believe he just friend zoned me like that.
Dude, you're not even gay.
So a guy died and our dates revived him with CPR. Good night?
I bet Billy Ray Cyrus wishes he had pulled out now....
I can't put those talents on a resume
Dad is celebrating turning 45 by being drunk in a department store before two o'clock.
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