You did that once after drunk driving from a photo shoot
That was very cool/italian of you
Which brings me to my next point, how come italians are so well adapted to drunk driving
I am at a 420 party and i just told a girl "hey, less not getting donuts, more getting donuts"(1-855): and did she get any doughnuts?
No. I am devastated
I will fuck a handful of worms if you hold them
i love that when i tell my kids and grandkids about how we first met it will be about this little thing called a "poke" on facebook
When I stretch out her lips her vagina looks like a dolphin...this birthmark is awesome
Just found out my mom's voicemail password is 6969..
Dude their dog does tricks for sips of beer. He keeps going up next to people and trying to shake. This is awesome.
In a strange taxi 3059. Battery dying I'm dying. Bye.
I'll always remember you bringing me that pregnancy test in the middle of an ice storm. Best friend ever.
The second I see you we're shot gunning beers
It's gonna be 8 o'clock in the morning
And your point is?
Marry me
I have been drunk every time I've gone to mexico. I do not remember mexico.
I can't. I mean he's hot, but there's really nothing else there
You just said he's hot
NO YOU DON'T UNDERSTAND
i sent him a picture of his friend's dick and told him he should really stop thinking he's my only option.
Smoking weed with a blind guy, don't worry he's chill.
You’re welcome stay at my house. But, you gotta piss in the toilet
Randomize
