I can hear the grilled cheese talking to me. "Let me in there!" they wanna get inside me
you still trying to smash that chick?
it's a losing battle and she kinda sucks. been busy with school so not getting midweek drunk - she's nearly unbearable sober
Funny, my mom didn't get it when I said 'that's what she said' after she said 'it's so thick, it's impossible' in reference to my milkshake
Does leaving at 3 give Sara enough time to take the bus or are you picking her up?
I cant tell if your joking or not, but I'm picking her up
Do you need some kind of permission slip from her parents or can anyone just go and grab a high schooler these days?
We had unprotected sex and she's eating life cereal for breakfast. The universe is telling me get the plan b for her
just snorted lines off a mancala board. I'm destined to win this game.
They are chanting tits for freedom and I'm highly considering
She was so morning drunk she asked the lady at brueggers for a bandaid and my self respect back
Trying to figure out which chair my head was under last night
Just woke up to find myself in a random bed with two people next to me having sex. I thought it would be awkward to just suddenly get up so i think I'm gonna lie here and pretend I'm still sleeping.
I just saw my 7th grade teacher at the club. We had a pretty good talk over drinks. Turns out we both like dancing on tables.
You got this. You survived the RA last semester (granted you almost got arrested but still.)
Well, I told him that it's not all about him. Then I gave him the best blow-job in the history of blow-jobs.
If God is analyzing my life right now extremely proud or dissapointed but either way I took wednesday night drinkin to new levels
You need to get out of there before he falls in love with you.
Randomize
