Different chick, same blowjob, same parking lot.
well i did feel guilty about it. until i saw how hot the guy was the next day. now, nothing but pride.
so my mom told me to suck on something if I have to cough. so I guess blow jobs are ok
Fighting the police is like screwing a fat girl, if I'm drunk enough I'll do it
She's like the little sister I never had ... except for the fact we're having sex.
Watching Fresh Prince at 9am with a beer in hand and he just said to Uncle Phil "Sometimes I worry that I'll never get my life together." I feel like that was a sign from above or something
Doing lines and watching a show on hot dogs around the world ... Why do I do this to myself
How do you feel about fucking me quick and then me leaving to go do arts and crafts?
Sitting in the library studying = googling how to get laid in the library.
Well I don't think you can suck his dick while he's making pizza. I think that goes against some health codes.
Nothing with ever convince me that she wasnt purposely left behind by our mother to ruin my life and fuck our family
Wanna smoke some ancient weed I just found in a box of cake mix?
Date #3: He brought me a mason jar full of organic weed that he grew on his property. Will you be the witness when we sign our marriage license?
Just saw the bridesmaid use her new sister in law as a stripper pole
I don't know how to say "Sorry I was banging your boyfriend before I knew about you but you're awesome and we should hang out." without just saying it.
Randomize
