i would give spencer pratt a bj just so i could bite his dick off
he'd just find a way to get more famous from being a eunich.
bro...we were banging on her floor and her dog walked in and started licking my balls
Thats how high i was. The fact that he looked like Seth Rogan was apparently a good thing.
is the shake weight an appropriate valentine's day present?
Her brother walked in on her giving me a bj and just laughed. I got a highfive before I left.
The extent of my physical activity is running from the cops.
I swear after i took it all i did was scream for four hours
Yes, she did suck your dick in the bathroom to wake you up.
He called himself excalibur. Thats all I remember.
apparently it's a turnoff if you ask a guy why he thinks he needs to use magnums
He called us the '3 Amigos' and told us if hos ex wife came we had to jump the porch railing and hide in the bushes.
Idk if I deserve a medal or a one way ticket to hell
I just woke up and there was a condom wrapper stuck in my hair. This is my life.
Didn't you sleepover at your grandparents?
Don't forget my pants whenever you come over, otherwise we can't get in.
I think my time would be better spent seducing the TA then trying to save this paper.
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