:( I'm sorry!!!
sexual favors sorry?
absolutely not
Car fucking is for special occasions like birthdays and bank holidays. Don't want to lose the magic by making it an everyday thing.
I am no longer a man. I just realized I prefer Spongebob to college football.
You should have seen her outfit yesterday. It was like pretty woman before Richard Gere gave her money to buy a new outfit.
I think I should receive an honorary Heisman... I mean, I did sleep with two of the finalists
I woke up with cheeseburger in my mouth and a deep sense of accomplishment.
Roommate is eating a chimichanga, watching Dr Doolittle 2 and weeping. His Tuesday hangovers make me feel better about my life.
I am compiling a playlist that reminds me of all my best sexual encounters. It shall be called THE MUSIC OF MY VAGINA'S PEOPLE
Man, I want to make his penis a sandwich.
If by some world ending natural disaster I get into an actual relationship with this kid, should I tell him the truth about the web of lies I've based our current relationship on?
Just when I decided to go get a taco and a blunt cake it starts raining. Coincidence? or divine intervention?
As planned I took it to the limit. Then we met a new limit. Now they are limit friends.
So stoned that I pressed the unlock button on my car keys to walk into my bedroom...
We broke my graduation cords last night when we used them to tie each other up during sex last night
Haha I had a heart to heart with a stripper so I would say it was a success?
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