shes the kind of girl i dont like to talk to unless my penis is in her mouth.
he's sitting on top of the fridge in only a black speedo and wont get down
oh man. maybe i should puke on his dick? just to test how much he loves me?
When I find myself drinking from a boot I just go with it and refuse to ask why.
I'm going to need to borrow your helmet cam for my Wednesday night blackouts.
No you usually just ranted about the voicemail bitch until she cut you off again
I am day drunk. Get ready to see my dick.
My week is over as of 8pm tonight, and I'm herpes free...Let's rage
I am pretty sure we beat baby seals over the head in a past life. That is why we are being punished.
I'm seriously considering refraining from drinking on school nights.
I like how you say that with 4 school days left of the school year..
Sobered up midsex and just went with it. After he tried cuddling and I awkwardly rolled out of the bed to find someone on the floor, apparently it was his room so he got to listen.
Do you remember lying across two tables saying 'go away I'm trying to pull' to me, Sollie and Sean?
Bro I needs to be rescued in 30 mins...prfeebly someone died in a car accident needs to be the excuse
we thought it would be safer to lock you in the car alone downtown than take you back home to pass out
I'd invite you over to drink but then I wouldn't be drinking by myself.
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