was it more than 30 minutes?
ya
then you're in a relationship
i knew i liked her after she chugged tequila, fell down the stairs and said "oh dont worry i knew it'd be faster this way"
Tell him I thought his Superman stand on your bed and cum all over your back was quite funny
Boats looked like robot pelicans and time was slow and now im on wipe out
he told me he could still feel the blowjob i gave him last year
wow. THAT good huh
you said I shouldn't try to fill the void in my meaningless life with dicks but i am trying and it totally works
I'm convinced he's the patron saint of oral sex
dropping lines from Workaholics has slowly become my icebreaker when hitting on girls. who would have thought "lets get weird" would cause girls to actually get weird
I don't get it. If he broke into Taco Bell at 2 am, then why couldn't he have brought me home a fucking taco???
I don't want to spend an inordinate amount of time with you, I want to have sex with you. Duhhhhhh.
And here I am, playing fetch with my cat at two in the morning.
april was a good month for me, sexually...doubled my number, had a threesome, fucked a girl for the first time and two different boys in one night. there should be a medal
It's official! Naked girl is back and making stir fry. Still not sure she realizes we can see her whole apartment from our balcony. Cheap beer and a show.
Stacy lit a fart and burn half of the couch down before we can put the Flames out. Bring your truck.
So... he's my second cousin's step-bro... To do or not to do?
Randomize