Ok walking to car, 3 gay guys park get out of car, one on phone says 'I dont know but I was definately getting some curb rubbing'
but his dog just died...ill send him an edible arrangement or a 6 pack or something
Pretty much gone. He was in the backseat and kept whispering that his "toes felt like pigtails"
You were throwing ham at people telling them you were the sandwhich fairy
I'm not an expert but calling her the "hot lesbian" isn't going to coerce her into a 3some with you
Beer pong consisted of me throwing a ball at the wall and then falling over because moving my arm made me dizzy. I think our team lost.
Go forth Daniel, drink, be merry... And meet some hot Asians for your friends to bang
You sent me a picture of you licking the bottom of a shoe and the caption was "it tastes like shoe"
Have you ever just like not slept in so long that everything looks like a lava lamp?
That's what jaeger bombs out of teacups will do to you.
He pulled out a red and green condom and then started humming "Here Comes Santa Claus." Happy holidays indeed.
He seems like a lot more than a waste of tequila
Cant leave im designed bacon maker you come here
Wanna get drunk and make some bad decisions?
Are you calling me a bad decision?
I'm too pretty to be this sexually frustrated.
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