I'm at a bar that has girls so awful looking even you would not have sex with them.
Well... I doubt that.
Make note: the first date is too soon to make the "condoms are only for making balloon animals" joke.
can we please move this conversation out of my vagina?
it doesn't count as moral degradation if you win the strip off -right?
I was debating whether her purse was real then I saw her puke in it.
What I thought it would be sexy pouring melted chocolate down here chest, ended up in second degree burns. Hot food and sex do not mix.
Just caused a nice traffic jam while trying to park at Costco. Too high to drive.
I'm off the liquor
You're forefathers are ashamed of you. They didn't struggle to make it to America so that you could become a soft dick
I just blocked a guy on grindr for having a little dick. See? I do have standards.
Getting day drunk before work is perfectly acceptable when its 99 cent margaritas.
I didn't know what to do so I panicked and puked in my pillowcase with my pillow still inside.
I'm not even 100% sure what it is, but if it involves Thor and Doritos, I'm in
I really wanna treat my body good. Because i plan on doing drugs
I just walked in on her masturbating to a social anxiety video...
She’s either doing coke or thinks my cock has the Covid vaccine. Either way I haven’t worn clothes in 3 days
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