On my list on ridiculous morning after bus rides home, still sopping wet and carrying a giant straw hat is definitely top five
According to the bell hop, we stumbled in about 4 and then cannon balled into the pool.
Just so we're clear. I'm still making jello shots and bringing them to the bar in my purse. I don't care if its half off margaritas. Don't want anyone thirsty
Well, I just did coke with a drag queen in a bathroom so that's the direction this night is taking
He must have found my secret supply of blow and took a bump before we left the house. Rude.
He could of at least asked
I think tonight's gonna be the night I wear a go pro while trippin on acid
I just saw a girl drinking wine and walking her dog in footie pajamas and a mad hatter hat. First day of the new year and I think I'm in love.
I feel like you should put up a missed connections ad for this..
I'm slowly getting to where I don't hate people anymore.
Never mind. Some random dude just walked past me and asked if I was having fun. I snarled at him. I might still kinda hate people.
You were more fun when you didn't have morals.
I made a separate snapchat account so I could swap nudes with a guy from omegle.
Why do all of your bad decisions sound like fucked up mad libs?
Pretty sure I'm partying in a onesie right now.
He kept saying "Ayyyyyyy" during foreplay... during sex.... during everything! It felt like I was having sex with friggin Fonzie from Happy Days!
Also I found $40 in the women's bathroom at ihop. Karma is finally kicking in!
it was weird going down on him. His picture of Jesus was staring at me the entire time...
Yo did you say we are blacking out saturday night and playing dodgeball?
Yeah for relay for life. Its for cancer
Randomize
