No, drunk sperm still make babies.
Just saw a drunk guy marching down the strip with a garden rake. I feel compelled to follw him
You always know it is going to end badly when a guy asks if he met you at a "coed naked lawn bowling party"
just chugged some gatorade and threw it up. todays gonna be awesome
He walked into my room in the middle of the night, whispered something about the patriot act, and took my tv.
He said I went to go sit outside and is promised I wouldn't leave he brings me a chair and I'm gone. He found me stumbling a half mile away in my socks
It's isn't revenge sex until you've cum on her porcelain doll collection.
Yo I found your batman costume.... It was in my pool with a shitload of beer cans
I can't be here...my therapist just watched me take tequila shots
I felt like a personal hot pocket and all I could taste was cigarettes.
Driving from bar to bar trying to recover all of the possessions I've drunkenly lost over the course of the past few nights. Actual nadir of my life and absolute height of shamblyness.
Props for using the word nadir
I assume you passed out however I'm drinking jäger and beer in bed with my cat so your friendship world have been appreciated
as much bud light as i have consumed over the years budweiser should give me a clydesdale
My fucking earlobe is bruised what the hell
My girlfriend is so strong now. Like on the one hand its kind of hot because she can pin me down during sex, but on the other hand she picked me up and carried me bridal style at the company bbq.
Randomize
