Last night was def like the makeout party episode of full house
It seems to me that once you begin comparing Jesus to hercules and calling him a super pimp you should put the wine away...
It's an "im going to have to shit with the lights off" type of morning
Oh man, buzzed lunch fridays almost got out of hand.
It's been so long that I've occasionally forgotten I own a vagina
You are so lucky you didn't go back to Tate's house. They decided to figure out who had the biggest balls... I was the judge
I think I just gave my niece a weed pinata...
There can only be one screw up per family and I was here first. Get your shit together bro
Idk I'm drinking Sam Adams and wearing new balances so I'm basically a dad
It would be magical, all 2 min of it.
And I'm laying here struggling with the notion that I need to put pants on.
the fact that I can still put my shoes on is a testament to the fact that I can outdrink these bros
Our entire day shift is on either molly or acid. I'm about to take two hits of the latter.
He's UNCIRCUMCISED. And it curves. Two things I've never encountered in all my sluttiness and they're both on the hottest guy alive. :(
Look at us. Planning our business meeting. Including snacks like shrooms & trail mix.
Randomize
