alone in the kitchen at 4 am eating a hotdog.
dude they were twins that means they were both only 17
Stop selling my mother weed! She's annoying as hell when she's stoned.
Maybe I should forgo underwear.
This is a family BBQ no?
He threw up. He never throws up. It was like finding out superman cant fly anymore. I was so sad for him.
I'm at about main and main street
drunk caitlyn doesn't know how to work gmail. so know an email has been sent to the entire campus with a picture of me naked eating a bagel attached.
He'd pee in it. And since it's PBR I'd have no idea
His 12 year old sister has bigger boobs than me and now that's all I can think about when we have sex
I started crying during a meeting at work and now I'm sitting on my couch drinking boxed wine at 1:30 in the afternoon. Fuck you too estrogen.
You just kinda wondered into the street and started screaming at dogs and small children...
I have to sleep with him. We're too much alike. It's like clash of the titans, except instead of clashing, he's putting it in me.
We're starting to light shit on fire, bring a metal bucket. Be prepared, Jimmy's off his meds.
Will you PLEASE get your mom to stop telling me I'd make a great husband? She knows I'm gay, right?!
I know, but she really likes you. Have you met my brother yet?
He ate me out for my sailor moon manga and I gave him a blowjob for his Devilman manga. Pretty sweet deal imo
Randomize