Damn. That makes sense
I know im like the sherlok holmes of sexual problems
you would pick up someone in the library
If you're ever in Seattle we should Fuck. Or get coffee, whatever.
What happened to him?
He was walking right behind us then disappeared.. turns out he checked his luggage at a night club, continued to drink and dance, then slept on the 4th floor of some museum
You ever get that 6th sense feeling in your dick like you know its gonna get sucked later?
Yea you just drank all the Hookah water, then started talking gibberish about the Kool Aid you just drank.
I pulled some girls weeve trying to pull the stop cord on the bus
Like if a baby's bottom had nipples, that's how my boobs feel
U thinks that's bad? He told me that he had to envision high school wrestling in order to bust a nut with some girl
Half way through sex he whispered in my ear, " your the second best I've ever had" then proceeded to tell me to sit on his face.
Had to walk of shame past Westminster Abbey this morning. Pretty sure a Japanese tourist took a photo of me.
Leaving the puke on the ceiling as a reminder.
I can get something to clone your cock for $40. It's worth it. It's my birthday present to myself.
OMG I CAN GET A GLOW-IN-THE-DARK ONE
I just told 2 of my vibrators "I love you." I seriously need some dick.
Decided to stay in tonight. Completely sober. Just got two drunken booty calls within 5 minutes of each other. This is my life.
Randomize
