We traveled between two mile markers in 18 seconds. Do the math.
Nevermine. I'm just going to tell you on Myspace with a glitter graphic.
I just woke up in my car with half the wedding cake next to me. This will not end well.
The grocery store is a combo of ghetto ppl complaining that the low fat chips are all that's left and hipsters trying to eat organic during the hurricane
Yeah just got a blowjob at busch stadium during the cardinals game childhood dream realized
That sucks about the drama. But hey, it's always a good day when you see someone get tazed!
No way. Every time you have sex with him you'll end up staring into those eagle eyes and stop mid-orgasm.
You drink it until you puke in a vent one time and it's ruined forever.
Hes done the math! Hes calculated how much sex it's going to take to fuck 365 miles. Now thats a little brother im proud of. New resolutions are a go!
I found dried jizz from last night on my leg while feeding an infant a bottle. I am not fit to care for children
WHO ARE THESE GUYS WHY AN ORGRY ON A MONDAY LMAO
Throwing up while listening to NPR because I’m trying to adult through this hangover
You bet your firm but soft ass I miss you
never let me tell the bartender to cut me off, i basically told on myself
Is it acceptable to bring pot to a funeral or am I going to have to do this shit sober?
Randomize
