Don't worry we didnt bang. Sometimes I just bring guys home so I don't order pizza.
I think hes settled down now. He's just licking the walls and the windows.
he then proceeded to tear down my curtains, wrap them around his waist, and use the rod as his "rod"... you tell me how drunk he is...
just passed out while on hold to see if i left my debit card at the bar last night.
Imagine that my comprehension level is that of a 7 year old and explain your plan again
Bible prof is the guy I made out with at the gay bar on the fourth. He doesn't remember.
So ahh..."Multicultural Night" turned into "Fuck the Neighbor Night"
Every time I think about it I can feel His toe in my mouth and I gag, I'm scarred for life.
She was grinding on him and then she was eating a Big Mac. Who the hell brings a Big Mac to the club?
i told the cop we knew everyone at the party, it was 250 of our closest friends and she's like funny nobody on the balcony knew whose house this was
Thats why they were on the balcony!
but there's so much I wanna do before I have kids. like die
I feel like dick that good should always be within a five kilometre radius of me.
Your first mistake was thinking that you could get through the day without drinking a single bottle of alcohol. Your second mistake was wearing shark boxers.
Well there's a microwave in my yard now too. I fucking Bruce/Caitlyn Jennered decathloned that bitch.
he made that chewbacca noise when he came. like father like son i guess.
Randomize
