These 3 days between Christmas and new years when all the bosses are on vacation are essentially a competition to see who can do the least amount of work
There was a picture of him proposing on the night stand and their dog watched, but I can't help myself, his dick is just so perfect.
in the event i get tipsy, my nipples are your responsibility
Your roommates boyfriend just approached me while I was working to tell me about the staph infection he got on his face. Where do you find these people?
You should be proud. How many people can say they GAVE a stripper an std?
Like really my mothers day gift is a pic of his dick
Please just fuck her. She's new to LA and doesn't know anyone nice.
Is it really bad that my last patient offered to fuck my brains out if I gave her IV morphine...and I gave her my phone number and told her when my shift is over?
Since when do you jog?
Since hot shirtless guy that lives across the street jogs
Best thing she said after I kicked her out "rugby guys have single handedly ruined my faith in men"
For the sake of being nice I congratulated her and she replied with something along the lines of that I need to stay away from him and not touch him ever. I really wanted to be like "been there, done that" but my New Years resolution was to not start any cat fight over boys with small dicks before noon
Not going to lie: not even the fact I'm wearing men's cargo pants can hide the fact I have an awesome ass.
Omg my butt feels so much better. Those suppositories are magic. It feels like Jesus fingered me in my sleep.
So I crawled off the trampoline to puke in the neighbors yard. Wonderful house guest right here
You some how ended up sleeping on one of the beams that run along the ceiling of your house
Randomize
