When I went to court, my judge's name was Honorable Ball. I couldn't stop laughing.
that probably didn't help your case.
I should have bought two bottles, she left before I could feel her tits...
I'm trying to bond with my sister... Its like getting to know a person I never met that I don't like
it's all just a bunch of faces and i remember what the floor looked like.
They went to the hospital to try backflips in the parking lot. Be ready for the call
I thought you'd have died of alcohol poisoning years ago! How'd you get my number?
My dick was out way too much saturday not to get laid
You just kept shouting "I AM AN ADULT!" until he agreed to carry you home on his shoulders.
I am slightly proud of the fact his mom turns on the dryer located behind the spare bedroom EVERY time we visit!
Any story that involves the words "bloody hand job" and/or "sliced penis" is bound to be a good one, right?
I literally farted midsex as a siren for him to get the fuck off me.. No such luck.
When I'm drunk I really like to hold dicks. Like, affectionately.
Going through his web history. 10 hours ago he searched "how to put on condom with your teeth" I think I'm getting it tonight.
A reminder in my phone just went off saying, "Fuck.On.Roof- the Great Bambino". This makes me excited and slightly nervous.
If I say I hate myself for it does it make it any better?
Randomize
