my penis says it needs to be in something. my phonebook says its you
What's the point in getting all dressed up and going when i'm just gonna throw up on myself by midnight?
I don't care if you go out, because at the end of the night I know i'll be the one fucking you.
that was completely unnecessary, true, but unnecessary
He was such a tease, he pulled out his dick, let me touch it then put it away
I've decided the third guy that I slept with is who I lost my virginity to...
Its pretty simple actually, if she texts me either Grr or Rawr it means she is horny and wants to bone. its a perfect system
after she pushed someone down the stairs to get more vodka we lost her for a while and found her on the pole in the garage pouring water on herself
it's a drink the shower water kind of morning ...
Currently getting "blaow" buzzed into my pubes. How's your thursday?
Another memory: We offered for a stranger to live in our house under the condition that he took the garbage out because it's a 'blue' job.
We are the best.
Ps. We need to take the garbage out.
So you are wearing a heart monitor while drinking?
Yea, they said carry on with my everyday activity.
He legit watched "Cops" the entire time he was fingering me.
Btw there's a hedgehog in my room. Don't get it high
Once upon a time I threw up in my own hands last night.
I wasn’t trying to be creepy it just happened
I’m beginning to think that’s your defining personality trait.
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