This guy just brought his piggy bank into the bar with him. Talk about corruption of childhood.
she actually told me to ignore the cokeheads in the corner with knives.
The dentist told me I have super glue on my teeth. I'm not blaming you I just want to know how that happened
I just did the math. It is, in fact, cheaper to go out drinking every weekend than it would be for me to pay for a legitimate therapist. What are you doing next Friday night?
At least now when I say "never again" the likelihood is that it won't actually happen again the next weekend...that my friend is called growth
I watched you fall asleep, sitting up, eating a cinnamon roll. You proceeded to wake up...smile at your cinnamon roll, ask it how it got into your hand and then began eating it again. You asked me if you were ridiculous last night, define ridiculous.
with a cock that big I don't even care that he makes a convincing drag queen
Boss out of town. Had 2 beers for lunch, a long walk and a bowl...and then in he comes. Blamed obvious intoxication on my pain meds. Back at the bar. This is one of those bad judgement days.
What is your life?
A tangled mess of finals and bad decisions.
Can you bring me a corn dog or something shaped like one?
I was supremely disappointed in the lack of dick and doughnuts in my life last week.
No fucking Jell-O shots or meth. Those are the rules
I tired using vodka to remove my makeup
The fuck kind of sorcerer makes a pact with tequila
Most of the people I know from AA
Haha touché
All I heard was "sit on my face" "okay" and muffled screaming. I'm still disappointed.
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