Are u religion class? I'm on my way, I have cum in my hair. tell u later.
let's bang
You're in my phone as 'Weird Bus Guy' so I think my answer's no.
There is soup leaking out of my nose nothing in life has prepared me for this moment
Romantic bubble bath turned into splash war. We can't be adults about anything.
It's just good to know that when I drink like a twenty year old I still act like one.
Yeah i was handcuffed to the bed all night but i actually slept like a baby
dude he's still passed out in my bathtub. and his dick is half way in a 40 bottle... i really hope he was just trying to piss in it
Dying on my bathroom floor at 7 am, I would rather be eaten by a shark right now
Hahahahaha. That's what your stoned ass gets for eating half a bag of processed cheese at 2am.
I just had sex with the megalodon show on in the background and it was just as magical as it sounds
I'm excited for you as you venture towards new drug experiences
Do you remember telling our cab driver you were going to fuck a penguin?
I made out with a girl because I wanted to get in the VIP section of the bar because they have these big comfy couches. It worked.
My mom added me on Snapchat which means I am officially done with Snapchat.
Instead of texting me to come over, she just sends me a batman symbol.
I don't care if she's a booty call. Marry her.
Randomize