My grandmass entire neighborhood is over for dessert and i'm high as fuck...about to make a couple of freshman boys real uncomfortable
Freshman in high school? Just your type
when I scratched it gently some sort of watery looking stuff came out...so then I just stopped thinknig about it.
Betty ford says i'm here all night
i did the 'picked up item' thing from zelda when i jizzed on her face
so you're single again?
yea but it was worth it
can u get pink eye on your cock?
You can't be mad at me for wanting to drink though, it is the reason we're engaged
I puked in the AC vent. thing are gonna get ugly come summertime.
I trust that you have thought of something completely illegal for us to do this weekend.
I woke up to her vacumming the grass
We fucked in your water heater closet. Told you we'd try everywhere.
Why isn't there a sort by hair color option on Facebook? It would make stalking much easier.
Just sayin. I pissed on his couch, and ruined his stove. If he's not mad, we're partying there every weekend...
when I said energy drinks I meant cocaine
In hindsight combining orgy Thursday with mystery drink madness was begging for failure
We met up and made out in front of an empanada spot, if that's not romance then idk what is.
Randomize
