You guys sftrill at mcdondalds?!!!!
Yes.
fuckin bring me a cheseburgeria
God is so good, I would give him a blow job right now.
i just woke up at 8pm naked in my bed, with a fresh haircut. I wonder what barber i went to.
I just had a dream where Bob Saget recognized me from when I hung out with him in a dream I had months ago.
eww mummy girl is here...
what the fuckk. i just want to hold her down, wax her eyebrows, and give her some morals.
I don't know what he did but now I'm terrified of mustache rides and it's only movember 3rd
you started keeping track of only every even numbered drink you had
He just compared himself to a majestic butterfly in regards to the lack of girlfriends. i don't even know what to say.
you crashed our wine night double date and sat on the floor eating cheese talking about how big his dick is.
You had the nerve to crowd surf to your own bedroom.. I guess watching Aladdin high was probably the best idea ever
So my parents just watched me pour their rum into a bottle and only add crystal light powder, no water... Talk about being judged. All I could say was "Cortland tricks?"
The only thing I had in my freezer before today was patron and cheese.
What's life without a pregnancy scare?
It's like an adderall Houdini. Right when you think you have a deal he disappears
Well, I just puked in the shower in case anyone wants an update on how my day is going
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