What the hell am I supposed to do with 50 gallons of mayo?
Now would be a great time to stop wondering " Who let the dogs out" and go to sleep
Want to come to my BBQ and Blow party?
haha it staarrted out with just getting drunk then it turned into sports authority. So now im 4th or 5th in line and shit faced. Help me
I know. I almost started crying. IN WHAT UNIVERSE IS THAT A TURN ON?!
like a dude with a badge in a golf cart is gunna do shit. Unless he has a tazer. Then it's fair game.
Sorry I pissed in your dining room and kicked your best friend in the face while he was passed out.
You said that my dog would "complete your puzzle" then you got naked and took it behind the bar
bad news.. campus security walked me home last night and when i tried to tell them where i lived they assured me they knew where our house was.
did you know that my friend knows a guy with 3 balls what the actual fuck
took some adderal to make my alochol withdrawl less shitty. now im just concentrating on how badly i need a drink
You'd be proud! I didn't lose my id this time... It got confiscated
FYI you are now my emergency contact at plan parenthood
Of course I'm going to see her again. She had waterproof handcuffs in her shower.
Stop trying to mix nacho cheese and sex. Guys don’t want hot cheese near their junk. Pick a better fetish
Randomize
