Banned from zoo.
Again?
When I say rough sex, and show you scars from past encounters, pulling my hair a little IS NOT GOING TO CUT IT. And he just doesn't understand.
And by that I mean I told her the plot of the first batman movie as my life and it took her like 20 minutes to figure it out
New handbag passed the ultimate test. The walk of shame. I had a bra, tights, skirt, shirt & sweater in it and you couldn't tell. yessss.
He gave me his business card. It was a Justin Bieber trading card with his number written in sharpie. I have to call him don't I?
We left an ass print on the piano.
you covered his dog in toothpaste. safe to say hes not gonna call you.
Hey if there is a better reason to go drink then "I've been fucking robbed!" I have yet to hear one. Also, I've been fucking robbed.
Also, just almost microwaved cereal. Thank god mom is here to stop me.
It was over as soon as he asked if he could name my vagina pancake.
She had a glow in the dark pastie on her forehead the last time I saw her. That should help you find her.
Apparently while fucking a girl in the ass last night I cracked a molar, trying to find a dentist now.
It was Thanksgiving sex. I was thankful for it. Need I say more?
Yes. Life would be much easier if we had penises & could do whatever the fuck we want.
Remember when we got high off our ass and you talked me into running in place then punched me in the face and said it was a wall?
Ya, you were bleeding for an hour and a half
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