We all just poured out a sip of our drinks for you. One for our pussy whipped homie.
You smell like stripper and shame
still haven't packed clothes. only wine. gotta love spring break
I'm wearing boardshorts as underwear to work. This is bachelorhood
she demanded that I make her breakfast too so im in the bathroom cooking bacon with her straightener
Yeah, I wouldn't mind getting fingered in the corner of a dive bar again.
20 bottles of wine, 3 cases or beer, and 5 bottles in my kitchen... My parents are teasing me.
Thats stupid. Your future is a life of less pay for the same work. Free drinks is how capitalism reimburses women for its inequality. & youre not even taking it!
Nothing motivates a person to clean their apartment like puking up cheese ravioli beer-tequila chicken wings for eight hours.
its not that I hate him, it's just that I wish his penis was attached to someone i like more
she just announce I'm david copper field and tried to shove a napkin down my throat
But that background check said 51...Omg. If I hooked up with someone that's my dads age.....
Why is it pressure? I want to see your cute face and possibly sit on it. You make it like its a bad thing.
5 am booty call not ok. The fact I actually went over definitely not ok. My vag needs to learn some control.
Who the fresh hell put 2 pillows a raincoat and a guitar on top of me to keep me warm last night
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