sitting in my room eating a boneless rib tv dinner, and listening to taylor swift's love story, and i sharted. had to finish the ribs and hear the end of the song before i went to the bathroom to wipe.
Sorry I couldn't answer your call, I'm expecting a call from Chris Hansen.
I'm guessing you didn't end up going to the bar last night.
Nope. Ended up at what I believe was a slumber party down the street.
She acts like you when your on meds
She acts like batman?
No, he will live forever, like cockroaches and Jack Bauer.
Its only fair we share our golden vaginas with the world. It would be selfish if we didn't.
Ok, it's starting to sound like someone's out there trying to learn to play the trombone while breaking kitchenware.
We put your drunk ass to bed. 10 minutes later we heard you scream "DICK-PUNCH!!!" It was immediately followed by a shriek of pain and crying. So to answer your question; no, that's not "sex soreness".
Hit a new low. I'm FB stalking him while he is lying in bed sleeping naked next to me. He fell asleep with FB still open and unlocked on his iPad.
Cassie is wearing a baseball cap. This rebound is going nowhere
Did u smell a guys dreadlocks in the McDonald's drive thru line last night or did I dream that?
When we pulled over so you could pee, you made us stand over you and "make a roof"
I told the cops they couldn't arrest me until they found my shoe. Now I have the grant county cops looking for my heels by the rail road tracks.
Our relationship is perfect
90% threatening to punch him in the dick 10% actual dickpunching
Only thing exciting about him was his dick.
If dispatch calls for us tell them I'm having a significant emotional event in the restroom
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