On a scale from 0 to 24...wait, 3 to 24, where 6 is the lowest and 12 is the highest, how freaking high re you right now?
Do you want the good news or bad news first?
bad news
The bad news is i thew up on your bed, the good news is i found out who ate your cheetos.
the third sister isn't as attractive as the other two but I will do her anyway to finally pull off the fabled family hat trick.
if i hurry i can finally have sex while stoned off my ass
godspeed.
I think that i just found proof that harry and ginny had sex
The guy I fucked last night is well worth up the ass tuition. I just wish I could tell dad thanks!
He leaned out the window to puke right as the fan for the ac turned on. All of it blew back up into his face.
Well, at least he doesn't refer to you as his associate. his mattress associate
In less than 24 hrs I went from conversing with Nobel Laureate, to hangover vomiting in front of a drive thru cashier
Next time we include dessert condiments into our sex life we can fuck up my sheets. It's only fair.
The site I use to study flash cards keeps showing ads for truck companies hiring drivers. It's like the site is saying "hey, we all know there's no hope for you, just give up and Become a truck driver."
Oh okay well are you handling the "just sex part" like a professional hooker like I taught you?
Owwww. A manager/ employee sex scandal that DOES NOT involve me! SCORE!!!
I'm in the smoking section between a transvestite molly dealer and a group of juggalos. I shouldn't be that hard to find.
Never joke about your clitoris.
Randomize
