honestly, who buys weed with an unemployment check?
you.
oh yeah. preciate
Stop selling my mother weed! She's annoying as hell when she's stoned.
The police scanner is talking about you again....
You really need to tell him that he has a girlfriend. I'm not sure he knows
You didn't have enough money so you tried to convince the cashier that "four dollar foot long" rolled off the tongue better. Stop drinking. Immediately.
He woke up licked his hand and put it on my vag and went back to sleep. This is twice this week and its only wednesday
Did I ever tell u about how my buddy fucked peter coors's daughter and made a tshirt that said I TAPPED THE ROCKIES with her picture on it?
I thought of you while cleaning the forehead prints off my glass doors.
Overdraft my account again. Parents are starting to ask questions. What would go over better a gambling or drug addiction??
Please note: when a bouncer tells you to leave, pointing out that their career path makes them a much better judge what to do will not make you friends
I know. But whatever I'll just eat cold pizza and play with my cats by candlelight
Just took adderall with about half a bottle of red wine...i have stopped trying for this last exam
Is it sad that I planned a a romantic trip to dunkin donuts for and with myself on Saturday, then added an equally romantic after midnight stroll through the half off candy sale? I find that worthy of adding a few cats to my collection agree?
You can be responsible and still be on that ho life
The air I exhale reeks of whiskey and bad decisions
Randomize
