I wish facebook had a fuck off button.
He puts stickers to promote his new shirt company in every sack he sells. He's like the donald trump of weed
high. he's playing 'oops i did it again' on the ukelele. is this real life?
My Grampa even called her out for being a cock block at the bar...it was that serious
1. Sorry about making it snow. 2. If it left a mess, I will be over to clean it. 3. Can that fire extinguisher still be used? If not, I'll buy a new one. 4. I just wanted to make it snow!
I hope your perfect outfit is a slutty power rangers outfit. That's been my dream wedding since I was a kid.
he tried to give me his business card but gave me his health insurance card then realized it and offered to take me to the strip club
I wish him all the best and hope one day he can afford the surgery to remove his head from his ass
Seriously. We gorilla glued our hands together. Eating pizza last night was impossible.
i just tried to use a string cheese as a light source
She left a blunt and poutine on my nightstand with a note saying "went to the gym. be ready for round three when I get back" I love Canadian chicks
Yeah. That's the shitty part. God, I don't want to be a step mom. Sure I'm great with kids, but I just want unlimited sex and not have to worry about making friends with a fucking 7 year old.
I have a bad feeling I'm going to like this fuck buddy
I don't even have his number. I have his pants tho
My roommate taped his phone to the ceiling fan to simulate walking so he could hatch Pokémon. Lazy people will always find a way.
Randomize
